


Do You Like Dragons?

by Hatsonhamburgers



Series: My Destiel Bingo entries 2018! [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Castiel in the Bunker, Dragons, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Sassy Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 16:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/pseuds/Hatsonhamburgers
Summary: Sam huffed a laugh.  “You know, I used to really like dragons- I thought they were like unicorns, though.  But now, not so much.  Shame about unicorns.”“Yeah,” Cas agreed, standing to go to the coffee pot.“Dammit, Cas,” Dean growled from the doorway, “you missed the perfect opportunity!  He said he liked dragons!  You could have said it then!”





	Do You Like Dragons?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the FREESPACE for the Destiel Bingo 2018! It said 'maybe something with dragons', so here you go! This is completely based on a bad joke my boyfriend told me.

“Go ask him,” Dean said, trying to hold back a giggle. 

Cas rolled his eyes and frowned. “No. That’s childish, Dean.”

“Well, I can’t say it, I’m his brother, it’d be weird.”

“I’m pretty sure it would be weird for me to say it to anyone.”

Dean huffed in frustration, and grabbed Cas by the shoulders, noting the way Cas’s cheeks flushed. 

“Please! I’ll make you hamburgers for dinner, I promise,” Dean put his lip out a tiny bit- it wasn’t playing fair, but he really thought the joke was funny.

Cas’s eyes narrowed. “You were making burgers anyway.”

Dean sighed and backed down. “Fine, yeah I am. Whatever, spoilsport.”

Cas sighed. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

Dean clasped his hands together and grinned. “Yes, yes, yes. Thanks, buddy.” He slapped Cas’s arm, also noting how he flinched slightly.

Cas straightened his shoulders and walked to the kitchen. 

“Hey, Sam.”

Sam looked up from his laptop, taking a sip of coffee. “Hey, Cas, what’s up?”

“I was just doing some research, and was reading about mythical creatures. Dragons, specifically.” 

“Really?” Sam looked up, seeming interested. “Dean and I faced off with one of those guys several years ago. Most of the lore is incorrect.”

Dean groaned and put his hand over his face from where he was hidden in the hallway. 

“Really?” Cas tilted his head and walked over to look at Sam’s laptop, where the giant flannel nerd was clacking away, probably showing Cas the bunker’s lore database.

“Yeah,” Sam said, squinting at the screen. “They can take the form of humans and can survive in underground lairs like the sewer system or subway lines.”

Cas lowered himself into a chair and watched the images on the screen. “I hadn’t realized they had evolved to change form. It makes sense, since they disappeared during the Dark Ages. We had assumed they feasted on too many virgins with the Black Plague.”

Sam huffed a laugh. “You know, I used to really like dragons- I thought they were like unicorns, though. But now, not so much. Shame about unicorns.”

“Yeah,” Cas agreed, standing to go to the coffee pot.

“Dammit, Cas,” Dean growled from the doorway, “you missed the perfect opportunity! He said he liked dragons! You could have said it then!”

“But Dean,” Cas was using that voice that made Dean want to pull his own teeth out. “Then he said ‘not so much’, which means the joke wouldn’t have worked.”

“What joke?” Sam was looking back and forth between them.

Cas sighed and waved a hand at Dean, signaling his being done with the situation.

Dean groaned. He’d just have to do it to Cas to explain what the hell they were talking about to Sam.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

“Yes Dean,” Cas had his coffee, leaning against the counter, his face stoic, his eyes gleaming suspiciously.

“Do you like dragons?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Cas drawled.

“How ‘bout me dragon deez nuts across your face?”

Sam made a face as Dean burst out laughing.

“That would be acceptable.”

Dean froze mid-knee slap and stared at his best friend. “Wha-”

“I said that would be acceptable,” Cas said calmly, his laser blue eyes never leaving Dean’s as he sipped his coffee.

“That’s it, I’m out,” Sam said, standing and making a swift exit, smiling at Dean as he left.

“I don’t…” Dean felt a blush rising up his neck.

Cas sat his cup down in the sink and turned back to Dean. He walked slowly over to the hunter, lowering his face to look at Dean through his eyelashes. 

Dean felt his pants tighten a little.

“Well, are you going to be doing the dragging, or should I?” Cas was now only inches away. Dean’s heart was thundering. 

“I- I..uh,” was all Dean could produce.

Cas suddenly grinned. “I got you!” he said, pretty pleased with himself. He slapped Dean’s arm, maybe a bit too hard, and walked by him out the door to the library.

What the actual fuck? Cas never joked like that, right? He didn’t joke about sex? Especially with Dean, right? Right?

Dean stood for a few minutes in the kitchen, gathering his thoughts and chewing his lip. When his pulse slowed to normal he walked back to his room. 

He slowly closed and locked his door, and sat on the edge of his bed. 

_Are you going to do the dragging or should I?_

Dean heard the line over and over, in Cas’s deep gravelly voice, as he slowly opened his pants, pulling them down to his knees and sitting back against his headboard. His boxer briefs came down as well, and he ended up kicking them completely off. Then his shirt came off over his head.

He laid there, thoughts swirling in his mind, thoughts of Cas- thoughts of the two of them together, thoughts of goddamn nuts being dragged across his face.

Dean took himself in hand, laying flat and closing his eyes, stroking himself to the image of Cas hovering over him, carefully teabagging him, his soft, warm, loose skin brushing gently across Dean’s lips and nose. 

Dean moaned and sped his hand up, cupping his own balls with his free hand. It was hot, thinking of all the things that Cas could do to him, all of the naughtiest, dirtiest, sexiest things- but somehow, it was the image of Cas dragging his nuts gently across Dean’s face that had him arching off the bed and coming hard onto his stomach. 

When he cleaned himself up, he redressed and headed to the library. 

“I’m going on a beer run and picking up some stuff for the burgers,” Dean called as he grabbed his keys. “Any requests?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Sam said, without looking up.

“Some teabags?” Cas asked, looking at Dean innocently.

Dean stumbled on the stairs and looked back. Cas had half a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

“It’s just a joke, Dean,” Cas said in that patronizing tone.

“Yeah, yeah, fucking hilarious,” Dean grumbled, his face burning as he raced up the stairs.

Cas and Sam’s laughter echoed through the bunker as the door slammed shut.


End file.
